This game is easy: divide into equal teams and try to collect as many points as possible by completing these tasks in pursuit of the ultimate Freshers’ Week – it’s the SY Student Scavenger Hunt!! Woop! Woop!

!!!POINTS!!!

Nervously drink more cheap alcohol than you’ve ever consumed before and vom in front of your new flatmates – 30 points. Unless it’s the first night, in which case – 70 points.

Pull a randomer you can’t remember the name of the next morning – 20 points per pash.

At the Fresher’s Fair sign up to every Student Union society under the sun, none of which you have any intention of ever attending – 10 points per registration. Unlimited.

Jump in the river after the Fresher’s Ball – 100 points.

Go streaking through a neighbouring hall of residence – 200 points.

Drunkenly take home some traffic paraphernalia and leave it in your kitchen all year – 10 points per traffic cone. Unlimited.

Construct a workable item of furniture out of empty beer cans, the more creative the better; TV stands and armchairs – 100 points. A life-sized aircraft carrier – 200 points.

Set off the building’s fire alarm at 3am – 40 points. The night before an exam – 80 points.

Cry when your parents leave – 20 points.

Go to the worst club in town and immediately wish you hadn’t – 30 points.

Fuck a lecturer – 1000 points per lecturer. Max 5 lecturers.

Leave the washing up until something resembling a monster from the Blue Lagoon threatens to take over your kitchen - 50 point per hideous smell commented on by an outsider.

Recite; “Hi, where are you from? What are you studying?” to every new face you see then ignore the answer anyway – 5 points.

Go to an overpriced, tacky, cheesy chain bar on your first night with your new flatmates – 50 points per awkward silence.

Play drinking games in your grimey kitchen like ‘I Have Never’ – 30 points. A popular answer for Freshers is; “washed my sheets.”

5 points per new facebook add. 5 extra points per add if you awkwardly ignore them at the bar two weeks later.

Eat spaghetti bolognese out of a tin and nearly cry because it is NOTHING like your mum used to make - 20 points.

Get Freshers’ Flu on the way to contracting more colds in six months than are normal in a lifetime – 40 points per sniffle.

Spend half your student loan on various props for elaborate fancy dress outfits – 30 points per false wig and plastic golf club.

Make the best friends of your life – 250 points.