The Royal family. A pillar Great Britain. The focal point of British family life. The driving force at the heart of our country. Yes? Well, maybe once upon a time. I don’t think that the once well respected royals have quite the same standing within society as they used to, at least not within Britain’s youth circles anyway.
1. Stand somewhere BRACING, like Clifton Suspension Bridge or by lookout at the far end of the Downs. BRAAGHH! It’s INVIGORATING ya know!!
2. The woods are always an ethereal place when the wind blows. Leigh Woods’ enclosed trees and woodland flowers work in perfect contrast with the exposed expanse of Ashton Court. Walking from the wide green space to the tree cover is like going into nature’s bosom, the branches whispering stories as they rustle in the wind.
Winter is here people and apart from the fact that it’s bloody freezing, it’s also constantly dark. No-one likes leaving for work in the morning, feeling like its still the middle of the night and returning home under an identical veil of darkness but its not all doom and gloom - try and see the bright side! Yes, shorter days can be miserable and depressing, but there are ways that you can make the lack of sunlight seem worth while.
The first benefit is using the darkness outdoors as an excuse to really indulge in your indoor slobbery. Everyone loves becoming surgically attached to your pyjamas and slippers for entire evenings and in these winter months, if night has already descended out the window, you suddenly feel much less of a bum doing it.
Read the rest of this entry »
You’ve seen the same article published in the final pages of weekly magazines sold at supermarket cashpoints for years now – “A New You For A New Year!” Apparently we should all be so happy from the Christmas buzz, the snow, the gifts and the mulled wine that we want to translate this positive energy into a New Years Resolution List.
Read the rest of this entry »
Did you know that Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas as people would have known it in the 17th century? The festival had become a holiday of celebration and enjoyment, especially after the problems caused by the English Civil War, and Cromwell wanted it returned to a religious celebration where people thought about the birth of Jesus rather than ate and drank too much. In London, soldiers were ordered to go round the streets and take, by force if necessary, food being cooked for a Christmas celebration. Traditional Christmas decorations like holly were banned and the smell of a goose being cooked could bring trouble. This may not win me many votes but I have to say that I don’t like Christmas either!! Perhaps I have a touch of Oliver Cromwell in me?
Presents are a way to say to people that we care, that we want them to be happy and that we value our relationship with them; that is quite a lot for a small parcel covering in paper. Eloquence is therefore a top quality for Christmas gifts, starting from their very basic parts: wrapping paper. So here you go, a guide to translating what you want to say to anyone and everyone into that oh-so-important scrap of paper:
Family:
This needs to wrap up (apart from your present) everything from ‘I do deeply inside me know that no-one loves me like you do and I will forever value you above everything for that’ to ‘please stop interfering with my life’. Go for a complex collage with many colours and patterns, something you obviously devoted a lot of time and energy to. If ‘complex collage’ sounds terrifying, don’t worry, the awkwardness of the result will make you even more adorable to them.
Read the rest of this entry »
Be Nicer To Turkeys:
Over ten million turkeys are eaten during the festive season in the UK. Millions of these birds are reared intensively in huge windowless buildings containing crowds of thousands. Selectively bred and anti-biotic treated for maximum growth, these birds cannot express natural behaviours and cannot mate without human intervention. I’m just not hungry for this kind of food at all and its ecological footprint is very high. If you don’t want to avoid turkey at Christmas altogether though, its well worth paying more for a bird reared to much higher animal welfare standards.
The SY family reveal what they want in their stockings!
Helen M
A triple glazed house to keep the cold away, a bow-tie collar for my cat and a round the world ticket. PLEASE!
Anna L
I want one of those lamps that trick you into believing there’s sunlight. And to tricked by the lamp. And tickets to Malta.
Whether you love or loathe them, they’re an essential element to any work social calendar, the effects of which can lead to more than a rough hangover the next day mind. Here are SY’s Dos and Don’ts for surviving the office Christmas party with your pride and dignity intact:
DON’T get seduced by the free bar
Nothing tastes better than free booze but that doesn’t mean you need to drink your annual consumption in the first hour. Remember kids, excessive alcohol can lead to beer goggles, nasty morning shocks, unwanted public (and private) nakedness and drunk dialling. Medication and therapy for Christmas anyone?
DO dress sensibly
“Dress to impress” does not mean wearing a dress so short you leave an impression of your arse on everything you sit on! Keep your bits well and truly covered up and remember, there’s always some cunt with a camera.
Help save our sausages! and keep SUIT YOURSELF MAGAZINE Bristol's No.1 independent magazine
Copyright © 2008 SUIT YOURSELF MAGAZINE ONLINE - A TRUE VOICE FOR BRISTOL™ Designed by COMMON SENSE MEDIA
