1. I can never think of anything to do in Bristol with the bird when it’s raining. You know Bristol. Please help!

You sound like someone with very little imagination. Bored of the cinema I assume? Moaning I guess, because it’s costing you an arm and leg for the tickets plus a kidney on the popcorn? Huh! Stop being such a tight fisted twat and spoil the young lady.
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1. Why is that girl you fancy always fancy your mate, and the ones who fancy me I never fancy? I am not a pig after all?

- It sounds like you are aiming too high. Look in a mirror and give yourself a rating out of 10. Now aim 2 places lower in all of your conquests.

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