SY’s Agony Aunt answers your questions…

1. What’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?!
In the snow on the top of the mountain was pretty crazy. I’ll tell you one thing though, my friend, I thought about your Mum the whole time.

2. I want to get a pet Harper, what animal do you reckon is best?
I’ll let you off this month. Not sure there’s anything too offensive I can say about that. I reckon you should get a cat, as they are the best. However, go careful if you live near a busy road. The other week I had to help a very distraught lady by helping her scrape her pancaked cat off the side of the road and lift it in to the boot of her car. That definitely wasn’t the highlight of my week.

3. How often should you visit a Sexual Health Clinic?
When you think something is up or when you start smelling bad. Tell your Mrs that mate. Last time I went down on her she smelt like one of those fryers at Harry Ramsdens!

To put your queries to Auntie Harper’s sympathetic ear just email: info@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk