SY’s Agony Aunt answers your questions…

1. How important is personal hygiene Harper?
My mother told me to always wash my hands before every meal, to brush my teeth twice a day and to make sure I wash behind my ears and in those hard to reach places if I wanted any chance of pulling birds. However, your mother is quite different. All I need to tell her is that her fanny smells great today and then I’m well in there.

2. How can I spice things up in the bedroom with my girlfriend?
Things must be pretty shit if you feel that you have to ask a complete stranger and also humiliate yourself to the audience of SY. Well, I can tell you one thing I know: You better shape up your act mate, because your girlfriend is a real animal in the bedroom and she told me she’d leave you if you didn’t step things up a peg or two. In fact, she told me that this morning when we curled up in bed together watching repeats of Supermarket Sweep.

3. Is it wrong I dream of being an Avatar?
Big respect to that film. It was truly awesome. However, I still think you are a fucking weirdo and so will everyone else in Bristol after they read this.

To put your queries to Auntie Harper’s sympathetic ear just email: info@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk