SY’s Agony Aunt answers your questions…

1. Will England ever win the World Cup?
I decided to give it a good few days to answer this question following England’s disappointing defeat to Germany. I’ve never seen so many unfortunate looking men crying on the streets of Bristol. I’m a miserable fucker, as many of you have probably notice and to be honest, I don’t really care. I’m sick of football and I can’t wait for the World Cup to be over!

2. Hello Auntie Harper, any tips for keeping cool this summer?
I’m the coolest mother fucker in Bristol. Stand close to me and I promise to keep you feeling cool. Don’t stand too close though or you may get a whiff of the lingering scent of your sister’s fanny from within my underwear.

3. Which is the best summer festival for babes?
Generally you’ll find all of the hottest babes at the same festivals I go to. I’ll be a Bestival this year doing my thing and spreading some of the SY love, however it’s not the only festival I’ll be attending this year. There’s a festival going on in my pants right now and only your mumma’s invited!

To put your queries to Auntie Harper’s sympathetic ear just email: info@suityourselfmagazine.co.uk