Hello Bristol, hope you’re all well and looking forward to the sun; I presume you are, or even if your not, Oh Bristol, what a summer it’ll be!

If perhaps you’d considered taking a couple of weeks off this summer to simply relax, take a walk, sit and check out the view – never fear, that pointless purpose is now part of the ‘BIG PHATWALK&Chilling Festival 08′, where you’ll be ruthlessly entertained by a hundred jugglers, The Big-Issue-Fair-Trade-Brass-Band and omnipresent DJ’s playing all the tunes they’re sure you want to hear right now, loudly - Forever.

Or check out the ‘GRAFF-GORE-ILLA’ S SHOWCASE’ (now in its 19th year) and watch old men with spray cans stencil ironic politics and hard hitting cartoons, just like it’s 1989.

Whatever your pleasure Bristol will fill it, relentlessly. Other highlights include: the Festival of Ideas, The Carnival of Charades, The Big Weekend Bus (all of Bristol gets on a bus) the Vegan Fayre and the Carnivore’s Picnic.

Oh Bristol, what a summer it’ll be! We can all drink rotten apple juice from beakers in the park and speak ‘Loike Dat’ and shout ‘Brizzle’ and ‘Avvin a good Un’ because its written on our t-shirts and we can sing ‘Kum-By-Yarr’ from the top of our squats until the war stops and pose on Clifton corners until the we realize it’s awful and we’ll feel queasily cider sick and run to the docks (the left bank) to laugh at the beer-boys drinking and fighting (on the right bank) whilst we drink and wish we were hard enough.

Arrrrhh Bristol, what a summer it’ll be!…The summers coming – get your tank-tops, flip-flops and why-nots ready, were gonna av a party, we’ll be fancy dancing, all night, up trees and falling out, loving leaving and hoping and waiting, waiting and waiting for the serious stuff to start, The Revolution, the Point of This …just as soon as the clouds clear and the rain breaks. Oh, what a wonderful summer it’ll be.

Jason Beech